Why does death happen?

I lost my father in April. I know I've said a lot and wished many horrible things about him but now it's killing me knowing he'll never be around for any of my future events... Like being able to share my joys of life and having him be proud of all the things I have accomplished and done.


I want to dream of him but I have not been too, God I miss him.

Lately all I've done is think about the past and all the memories I have about my father, like when I was 7th grade I would come home around 11 and do nothing for the rest of the day and my father would say " Collin do something constructive " I would always complain that I was bored, so one day I came home and he got me this Radio Shack electric set that would teach me about conductors, transponders and ect.

Around christmas he would sit around and watch A Christmas Story marathon all day, I use to hate that movie when I was so little but as I got older it grew on me.

Every time I listen to The Beatles - The Long and Winding Road, I breakdown and cry, cry and cry, My mother told me it was her and my father prom song and all I can picture is them being young and in love. I go threw the scrap book of theirs too and it hurts every time I turn a page.

I don't like what's happening in my life.

I hate the future, I miss the past.